How to Make a Habit Stick

In this post, I explore why it is so hard to create a new habit, what to do when you fall out of habit, and some simple hacks for making a new habit stick.

What you need to know to make a habit stick:

1. What is a habit?

2. Why is it so hard to stick to a new habit?

3. How to make a change

4. What to do when you reach your goal

5. Be prepared when others feel bad about themselves

6. What to do when you fall out of a new habit

7. Tricks for making a new habit stick

8. Habit stacking

9. Have a “Get back on it” plan

What is a habit?

You may not realise that your days are packed full of habits. We can think of a habit simply as a thought or action that we repeat, either consciously or unconsciously.

Unconscious habits are rather like driving a car when we don’t have to think about turning the wheel, switching gear, or indicating.

We’re on autopilot, or close to it. We can watch the road, listen to the radio, or have a conversation, and the muscle memory in our bodies does most of the work at driving the car.

This is very much like so many of the habits we have in our day-to-day lives, and the expression that we’re “creatures of habit” or do something out of a “force of habit” reinforces this.

We have a program that automatically controls our movements and thoughts, repeats patterns, and keeps us in the same place.

Until we consciously tune in to ourselves, we continue to run these programs of habit and then wonder why we feel stuck.

Why is it so hard to stick to a new habit?

Change is hard, especially if the habit we want to ingrain into our lives demands more from us than we currently give.

New habits often ask us to grow, and growing pains mean it won't be easy.

When we have been doing the same thing for a long time, the muscle memory or subconscious actions are hard to undo, so making changes should not be underestimated.

How often have you set goals for the New Year, only to have forgotten about them just a few days into January?

We are often overly ambitious, setting our sights too high, without working out the in-between steps to reach our goals, or planning what we will do when we fall off – just what is our plan to get back up again?

If we want to add a new daily habit into our lives, it needs to be achievable.

Telling yourself you’re starting a raw food diet to lose weight in the middle of winter straight after Christmas, is not setting yourself up for success.

By setting our expectations too high, we invite failure, which is an unfair game to play.

And if we don’t see results for the work we put in, then we’re more likely to quit soon.

If you want long-term change, then you’d be comfortable with delayed gratification.

It might take two months of going to the gym and changing your eating habits before you see results.

From the outset, you need to define how you’ll stay on your A-game despite the seemingly invisible reward.

How to make a change

Start by thinking of the goal and when you want to reach it. What are the smallest possible actions you’d need to take?

You need to work out how much time to devote to your new habit.

It might be that you have to be satisfied with working or studying for 15 minutes a day, rather than the hour you’d really like to do.

Being realistic ensures you don’t fall foul to disappointment.

I’d rather set an expectation that I will do something for 15 minutes and make it doable than set an expectation that I'll do it for an hour and fail - and then get down because I didn’t manage it.

Consistent small steps in the right direction are better than random bigger steps.

A good way to start is by making one simple change and letting that habit stick before moving on to the next one.

Say you want to eat healthily to feel better.

Rather than trying to change everything, figure out the first small change, perhaps swapping an afternoon sugar fix with some fruit and changing nothing else.

Do it for a week, and then swap out the pasta you’d normally have for lunch with quinoa – maybe do it on Tuesdays and Thursdays at first.  

Then in two weeks, make the next small change.

By making little tweaks that are easy to achieve, we don’t throw off our entire routine and lifestyle in one big hit, giving our minds time to adjust.

What to do when you reach your goal

Think about what you’re going to do when you reach your goal.

If you planned to lose weight and then reached your target, what happens next?

Are you happy to ditch your healthy eating and exercise plans and fall back to the weight you started at?

If the answer is no, then you need to have a plan so you are prepared when it arrives, and you don’t undo all the work you have put in.

There’s nothing easier than going back to our old habits and routines and back to our former comfort zones.

What will you do when you are on the edge of your comfort zone to prevent yourself from dropping back?

We don’t always consider how these changes will affect our lives and those around us.

Have a plan when you initially set your intention to make it easier to keep going with your habit, or if you need to start a new one!

 

Be prepared when others feel bad about themselves

When we decide to give up drinking, eat clean food, exercise, or study for a new career, our positive changes can reflect onto friends and family and make them feel uncomfortable for not changing.

As much as we think they will support us and have our best interests at heart when we choose to say no to that glass of wine or slice of cake, they may have their feathers ruffled because we’re not colluding with their bad habit anymore.

This is when we need to be strong and stick to our principles.

Have a few rehearsed lines to explain why this is important to you, and how you’d like your friend or spouse to support you and invite them on the journey with you.

If they continuously attempt to knock you off course, decide how much time you want to spend with this person who doesn’t respect your goals.

Remember that when you set a boundary, the boundary is for you to maintain, no one else.

 

What to do when you fall out of a new habit

When you set your intention to create a new habit, unless you’re as tough as Jocko Willink, the chances of you having days when you forget, don’t have time, or life gets in the way are going to be high.

Know from the outset that these days will happen and it’s OK. Life isn’t a straight line, and perfection is as mythical as unicorns.

As long as you get back on track again, even if it takes a few days or weeks, then what does it matter in the long run?

It’s helpful to notice if it keeps happening so you can ask yourself why.

Do you still want the goal? Are you not creating enough space or setting yourself up for success?

If you still want the results that your new habit will bring, then take time to work out how to create success for yourself.

Maybe it’s booking the gym class the night before, doing some food prep in advance, or scheduling quiet time away from your family that enables you to write or study.

Are there smaller habits of support you need to do to reach changes?

 

Tricks for making a new habit stick

This is all about setting yourself up for success and predicting failures and how to handle them.

Take the smallest step

On days when you are super short of time, and no doubt they will happen, try to do your habit for even just a minute, for example, read one page of a book or do a plank for 10 seconds.

What is the smallest step you can take to tell your subconscious mind that you have repeated the action and it’s something you want to keep in your life?

I use this hack with daily body brushing – sometimes I only do an arm, but it keeps the action in my routine and isn’t squeezed out completely.

Habit stacking

Habit stacking has become a popular term and once you know how effective it is, you’ll understand why.

This is the process of adding a new habit onto an existing habit or routine that’s already firmly engrained.

Think of something you do without thinking, such as cleaning your teeth in the morning.

This is the perfect opportunity to stack your new habit. After you clean your teeth, perhaps you immediately do a plank for a minute or stretch your legs while the kettle boils for your morning tea.

Have a “Get back on it” plan

If you have a plan in place for when your new habit drops off, you’re more likely to get back on it quicker.

This is simply about anticipating how you’ll handle missed or challenging days.

Imagine you’ve given up alcohol and have a special occasion coming up, such as a friend’s wedding.

Decide in advance if you want to drink and give yourself a couple of days on it again or if you’re sticking to abstinence.

If you allow some alcohol, how will you handle giving up again afterwards? Will it be easy, or do you need to anticipate a struggle that could be made easier if you had some lovely soft drinks such as fresh juices waiting on your return home?

On the other hand, if you’ve decided not to drink, what will you drink instead of your usual tipple, and how will you handle any pressure from friends or relatives?

Being clear about your intentions will set your mind on track for handling the situation.

Book in advance

Paying for a gym or swim class in advance is a brilliant way to enforce your commitment.

If I go to bed thinking I may go swimming in the morning and haven’t fully committed, there is wiggle room to talk myself out of it. I’ll go the next day, right?

Not if I don’t book it.

And especially if this is paid in advance, I’m telling my mind of my intention to do this thing, even though it won't be easy to get out of bed at 6 am!

Most of all, keep focusing on the benefits of doing your new habit, and you’ll be sure to succeed.

Good luck and keep going!